United through shared grief, Palestinians and Israelis have embarked on grassroots efforts to foster peace where politics have consistently fallen short. These bereaved families, transformed their unimaginable loss into a purpose, paving the way for resolution amidst a deeply-entrenched conflict.
Among these peace builders are a Palestinian man from the ancient city of Jericho in the West Bank and an Israeli woman from Tel Aviv, connected through a Zoom call. Despite the literal and symbolic wall that separates them, they find unity in a shared tragedy – the loss of a child. This shared pain fuels their determination to build bridges of understanding at a time when the divide between their nations seems insurmountable.
Both are part of the Parents Circle – Families Forum (PCFF), an organization where the only qualification for membership is having a child killed in the conflict. Their backgrounds may vary significantly, yet their losses have brought them to a common understanding. The fighting must end, and bereaved parents are uniquely positioned to advocate for peace.
Bassam Aramin, the Palestinian man on the Zoom call, had a journey from hatred to understanding. Born in a small village in the West Bank under Israeli occupation, he was sent to prison at 16 for a failed attempt to attack an Israeli patrol with old grenades. In prison, his perspective altered dramatically after watching a documentary about the Holocaust, an event he had once doubted. The film led him on a path to reconciliation, which included a Master’s degree in Holocaust Studies at the University of Bradford and visits to Nazi concentration camps.
Together with disillusioned Israeli ex-soldiers, Bassam formed Combatants for Peace in 2005. Their mission, inspired by Nelson Mandela’s philosophy, is to work with your enemy until they become your partner. This task became exceptionally challenging when Bassam’s 10-year old daughter, Abir, was shot by an Israeli border policeman in 2007. Two days after Abir’s death, Bassam joined the Parents Circle.
Founded in 1995, the PCFF now includes 800 parents. They hold ‘dialogue meetings’ at schools and colleges, where parents from both sides share their personal stories and explain their rejection of revenge. Prior to these meetings, participants visit the Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial and the Palestinian village of Lifta, which was decimated by Israeli forces in 1948.
‘Robi’ is Robi Damelin, International Relations Director for the PCFF. A South African who spoke out against apartheid, Robi moved to Israel and worked in PR. Her son, David, was killed by a sniper during his reserve duty in the West Bank, leading Robi to join the Parents Circle a year later.
From these personal narratives, empathy and understanding emerges. They paint a human picture that diminishes fear and hatred and fosters connections. The Parents Circle has made a significant impact on participants like Eran Ram, an Israeli ex-soldier. Eran describes the experience as “eye-opening” and speaks of the hope that springs from intimate encounters and newfound friendships.
Following the Hamas attacks and the Israeli response in Gaza in 2023, the PCFF started to gain international attention. This increased visibility led to online dialogue programs in partnership with US universities and collaborations with Jewish and Muslim students in Berlin, among other initiatives.
Despite the pain and loss, the Parents Circle remains steadfast in their pursuit of peace. their members believe in the possibility of cohabitation between Palestinians and Israelis. As Bassam notes, redemption is possible, citing Germany and Britain’s current amicable relations despite their brutal past conflicts.
Bassam’s compassion extends even to the man who killed his daughter, whom he views as a victim of circumstance and conflict. His readiness to forgive exemplifies the ethos of the Parents Circle – transforming pain into a purpose, and fostering peace amidst conflict.
